Returning to the Hood!

Earlier this month, while driving north bound on Lake Shore Drive, having packed up my old home and proceeding to my new apartment, I was overcome with an unsettling rush of nostalgia.

Only twelve years earlier, I had made a similar drive up to a new home in Rogers Park, but that time under entirely different circumstances.

Twelve years ago, I was emotionally frail: after having tried to work things out, my wife and I decided that the time had come for me to move out.

I was freaked out. I had three young kids at home, and despite my wife’s assurance that I would always have meaningful interaction with them, I was unsettled, knowing that we were all going to experience profound change.

I remember that drive up Lake Shore Drive. I had a suitcase and a couple of large laundry bags filled with clothes in my trunk and back seat. Also sitting in the back seat was my kid’s babysitter, Angelica, who, coincidentally, also lived in Rogers Park. How convenient for her: she didn’t need to take the El home. I could drive her.

Somewhere between the exit for “Recreation Drive” and “Irving Park” it all hit me. Tears swelled in my eyes. I tried hard to mask my feelings but I couldn’t contain it. I let out a few sobs, and continued driving.

“Things will be okay” I told myself. “We [my wife and I] have to move forward. We can’t be stuck in the same place where we’ve been in the past couple of years, simply sticking together for the kids.”

By Wilson, I had regained my composure. I veered into the right lane, anticipating the turn at Hollywood, where the road curves to the left, where the two left lanes proceed west to Ridge and where the two right lanes proceed north along Sheridan Road.

I stopped fearing what I was leaving behind, and started reflecting on what awaited me.

“So. I will be a Rogers Park resident once again” I told myself. It will be cool. Yeah. Initially I will live in that basement studio apartment, but that will only be temporary. And it will be MY space. A new community. And after ten years of marriage, I will now be ON MY OWN again.

Suddenly, just as my car veered westbound at the Hollywood turn, a profoundly new emotion overcame me. It was a tingly feeling. An adrenaline rush. It was upbeat. I felt revived. Revitalized. Uplifted!

“Yeah.” I said to myself as I prepared to turn right on Sheridan. “Things will be different, and they can and will be great.”

“I will make sure of it!”

Post a Comment